The Third Marauder
by Out-Grown
Summary: Remus mulls over the complicated and incomparable friendship of the marauders. "He wanted a friendship like mine with Lily, he couldn't see the big picture from a mile away. He didn't see how much I envied his relationship with Sirius." canon/no slash R


**The Third Marauder**

When you think of the marauders, you think of four best friends, but sometimes, as I lay awake on a night like this one, I wonder how true that statement really is.

Sure, we're best friends, the four of us, through thick and thin, but Sirius and James are so much farther ahead than Peter and I.

They have inside jokes that we can't understand for the life of us. They don't need to talk to communicate, they just understand each other. I would kill to have that relationship with the two of them, but it's exclusive, nobody in the school is as close as James and Sirius are.

I'm a reasonable person, I can admit that I'm jealous. I don't know exactly why, they're the best friends that I could ask for, it's just I wish I could be on that _level _with them.

I mean, Sirius wouldn't think twice about risking his life for James, and I can't help but speculate whether he would do the same for me.

Of course, I also deal with my uncertainty about my werewolf issue. They are always here for me, all three of them, becoming animagi to help me through my difficulties, but I feel separated all the same. Being able to turn into an animal on command is something the other three can do, it brings them together. I'm just a monster, a freak.

Every month while I dread the painful transformation, Sirius finds a different girl to shag, and James asks Lily out at least a hundred times. I can't comprehend their female issues, James complains that Lily yells at him all the time, well I can't even _get_ a date, because if the relationship goes too far...Well, I don't even want to imagine the consequences.

They have all of the girls drooling over them, girls think I'm the sweet one, the smart one, they never consider me in their infatuations with the marauders. In the minds of girls the 'marauders' are James and Sirius; the careless, handsome pranksters that know how to have a good time. I'm the tagalong, they probably don't even think about Peter.

And now, every summer Sirius goes to James' house. James' parents basically consider Sirius a son. He and James are brothers, I'm just a friend. James would trust Sirius with anything, sometimes I consider how much he trusts me, the werewolf.

And still, I can't help but be forever thankful to them.

They're my friends even with my terrible condition, I feel forever in their debt. Without them, I would have no true friends. They would have each other, they always have each other.

Lying here, staring at the near full moon outside the window, I recall a conversation I had with James after supper in the common room today. I had been talking to Lily Evans, supposedly his true love, about our potions homework and prefect duties, when James approached us, his usual grin spread across his face.

Unlike most girls Lily dislikes James with a passion, so she stormed off upon his casual "Hey Lilyflower," leaving the two of us to an awkward silence.

"I just don't get it Moony!" James began complaining, just like he always does.

"If you treated her like you treat everybody else she wouldn't get so angry." I told him reasonably.

"She's not like every body else, she's a creature unto herself. I can't treat her like someone normal, she's a goddess, Moony." He proclaimed, his eyes bright with desire.

"That attitude isn't getting you the girl." I reply, I'm the level headed one in our group. James needs short, harsh comments like this to give my opinion a chance to sink it.

"Why can't I be more like you Moony? She always talks to you! Merlin, I'm so _jealous_" he told me, with more than a bit of truth in his voice.

I eyed him carefully at that point, James had never outright told me he was jealous, it was scary to have someone like _James Potter_ think this highly of you. Even with the level of respect between James and I, having him tell me he wished he were like me in any way was completely abnormal.

Sure, he wanted my work habits, or my mark in potions every once in a while, but this was different.

He wanted a friendship like mine with Lily, he couldn't see the big picture from a mile away.

He didn't see how much I envied his relationship with Sirius.

They were padfoot and prongs, James and Sirius, they fit together like a wand choosing the wizard, and I was, in many ways, the third wheel. People saw me with them, laughing along at their antics, but they were so far past me.

They had the unbreakable friendship, I felt like the jigsaw piece that fit in, but could just as easily be taken out.

I glance towards their beds, side by side on the other side of the room. Their curtains are spread open, they sleep similarly, spread eagle covers thrown off in the near summer heat. As year six comes to a close, and we all start maturing, they just grow closer. Tomorrow they'll be joking around about looking forward to that night, when my transformation will happen.

They enjoy roaming the grounds with me, and I'm glad that I've brought such joy to their lives, but it's as if they experience it separately from me, I can't ever remember what happens each night, but according to them the exploits are amazing, and I'm the cutest, tamest werewolf alive.

They joke some more, about what a fun evening it was, but it was fun for them, not for me. I'm left out, even on excursions centred around myself.

And as we grow ever closer to graduation and adulthood looms over us like the full moon, James and Sirius plan out purchasing a flat together, a bachelor pad where they'll train for becoming aurors together, and help defeat Voldemort.

I want to help just as much as they do, but I can't do much with my condition, I have no use in the front lines. They'll be together making a difference and I'll be jobless, a werewolf who lives on the street.

XX

I hear a rustle of covers, and look up to see James sitting up slightly, leaning against his head board. He runs a hand through his messy hair and uses the other to search his bedside table for his glasses. When he grasps them, he shoves them onto his face, and though they're lopsided he adjusts to the darkness, looking around the room, before settling his gaze on me.

"How are you feeling?" He asks me softly, so as not to wake up Sirius or Peter.

"I'm fine." I tell him, "not very tired though."

"Me neither," he answers, stifling a yawn, "How about we go down to the kitchens for some chocolate?"

Chocolate being my weakness, I swiftly get out of bed, walking towards Sirius' bedside table, where we last left the marauders map. I reach for it silently, so as to not wake Sirius, but his hand slaps onto mine, and his eyes open abruptly. I'm shocked by his alertness, and he sits up, the map now in his grasp.

"You're not going to get chocolate are you?" He asks, a hint of a smile on his moon lit face.

"Want to come Pads?" James asks with a grin, standing by the door.

"Count me in." Sirius answers.

"I'm in too." Peter calls, falling roughly out of his bed, obviously woken up by Sirius.

With the map, we all amble down to the kitchens, and tickle the pear. Once inside we sit at the table directly under the Griffindor one, of course, and eat our chocolate silently.

We eat in a comfortable silence, smiling as when we catch each others eyes. We don't have anything to say to each other, we all understand that we're here to eat chocolate, and then all go to bed, because though none of us will admit it, we're all tired.

James sits beside me and gently nudges my side, when he catches my attention he angles his jaw in Peter's direction, and I lets out a guffaw upon seeing his milk moustache. Sirius turns towards Peter and breaks into silent laughter as well.

"What is it?!!" Peter demands, smiling along with the rest of us.

"You have a moustache." James replies with a chuckle, a wide smile still dominating his features.

"Oh come on guys," Peter complains, though he can't help but laugh along with the rest of us, "be mature!"

I agree with Peter that this moustache is hardly something to laugh about, it's not really that funny, but James and Sirius' laughs are infectious and even after Peter wipes his moustache away, we continue with our giddy smiles, eyes sparkling with happiness.

We've fallen silent again, but it's more friendly and much deeper than before.

I feel some inexplicable link with these three guys. I'm seeing how we've grown together over the years, remembering our past and considering our future. On a night like tonight I can't see us ever splitting apart, we seem invincible, we'll live forever and bask in the glory that is our friendship. We'll grow old laughing at milk moustaches and together we'll defy Voldemort, because the four of us can do anything if we set our minds to it.

Right now we're the marauders as we're meant to be, it's not an inside joke between James and Sirius, nor does it involve any female. It's just the marauders, the same people that made a pact at the age of eleven to stay together forever.

I guess it just takes a midnight snack in the kitchens for me to finally believe it.

* * *

I always felt sorry for Remus, he had a tough time throughout the series. I'm really glad he had friends like the marauders, yes Peter too, to help him through his difficulties.  
I've been wanting to write a story about friendship, instead of love, for a long time now, and I hope the strength of their friendship came across with my writing.  
This is completely _canon_, I'm not hinting at any Sirius/Remus or Sirius/James or anything. This is about the FRIENDSHIP of these four characters, nothing more.

PLEASE REVIEW, it's so easy and means so much, and tell me what you thought of this. Thanks.


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